Are my wealthy relatives being insensitive to POOR ‘ol me?

Question by Grasshopper: Are my wealthy relatives being insensitive to POOR ‘ol me?
If you think they are, how do I deal with them? Or should I just suck it up?My mother married my wealthy step father when I was 30. My mother was a single parent making a living as a hair dresser so we were always lower middle class. My step father is not the problem. It’s actually my mother and my step-sister. They are always talking about expensive designers. One day my mom put me on the spot and asked me what purse designer I liked. I live a very frugal life. I wanted to cry because I don’t know any designers. I buy my purses at Payless. I wanted to say how dare you! You raised me shopping at Jamesway and Walmart. I wore hand me downs!Once my sister made a comment about buying jewlery at Walmart. She looked down her nose at that. My husband and I were so embarrassed because although he had my wedding ring custom made, we bought his at Walmart. Sometimes my sister is like, “Hey let’s all meet in Atlanta next month for a mini vacation.” We have gone on vacation once in the past 5 yrs.

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Answer by cantankerous
Hmm. They are only being jerks if they are aware of your financial predicament..

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8 comments to Are my wealthy relatives being insensitive to POOR ‘ol me?

  • angeleyes

    How sad that mama doesn’t remember where she came from… You don’t have to pretend to be something you are not, if you did, you’d be lacking some self esteem. You sound down to earth, and real. Now, that is class. Those who live upon hills in glass houses fall and fall hard once they crack…

  • bookworm_382

    It does sound as if they are being insensitive. They need to be understanding that you’re not rich. All that really matters if if you’re happy

  • Ivan

    Just be honest and say that you can’t afford to shop at Saks Fifth Avenue and don’t know any designers. Don’t be embarrased about it, money doesn’t make you a better person.

  • dances_with_unicorns1955

    Tell them the truth; if you can’t afford it, say so, and DON’T try to keep up with them for appearances’ sake (I don’t get the feeling from your question that you do). If you don’t think you can say it to their faces without getting angry, put it in a letter and mail it to them, but tell them. I have dealt with similar problems (my sister and her family are quite well-off – I’m divorced and pretty much broke), and I finally sat down with her and explained the facts of MY life. Good luck!

  • Beez

    Not only insensitive but deliberately cruel. You don’t have to play their game or feel inferior.

  • Need a new name

    Unfortunately if your stepsister has always been wealthy, it’s possible she’s always been that way – I guess you won’t know though, since you haven’t always known her. It seems strange though, if her father isn’t rude like that. As for your mother, it sounds to me like she’s desperately trying to fit it, and be part of a world she hasn’t been part of before. Is it possible she’s trying to impress your stepsister? My advice to you would be to pull your mother aside, privately, and explain to her how much it hurts you – and why. Give her a gentle reminder of her “old life,” and remind her that not being uberwealthy is nothing to be ashamed of, but poor manners most certainly are.

  • poiselady1966

    well, instead of bragging designer clothes or buying signature things, your mother should share her money to all of you….

  • steelypen

    I have shared similar experiences, and I chalk it up to the fact that certain people can’t handle being less than rich. It’s a self-esteem issue. Without money, they felt powerless, with money they still do, but they want to make you feel powerless.

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