Could a mother love an adopted child as much as their own?

Question by baby blue eyes. ♥: Could a mother love an adopted child as much as their own?
I want a kid when I get older, but I don’t feel like I’ll meet “the one.” I don’t feel like going through a divorce or child support or things like that, because my parents did. But can you ever love an adopted kid as much as your own? And do they even let single women adopt?

Best answer:

Answer by Rawr!
An adopted child IS your own.

Give your answer to this question below!

18 comments to Could a mother love an adopted child as much as their own?

  • cricketlady

    Yes they let single women adopt. No problem————If I questioned my ability to love an adopted child I would Never have went there and I* would encourage anyone who seriously has this question —don’t ever attempt it. For myself I never questioned that ability—I love MY adopted child completely and without question!!!!!!!!

  • George McCasland

    What do you mean by “Older”? Females don’t reach full maturity until age 24, and males at age 30. Your whole view of the world changes then.

  • izaacs_mommy

    Absolutely I was adopted and I was totally loved my patents already had 3 girls and one boy before me I was always my siblings favorites I was never sad or felt like wasn’t loved or wanted my mother told me I was adopted at age 12 and asked if I wanted to meet my birth mother which I did so my mother found her we go to lunch once a month but my mother (adopted mother ) is my love and my mother I absolutely love her I’m so grateful she adopted me I love my family love my mom so good luck and I totally think its so cool you want too adopte

  • Sisc Johnson

    I do not think the questions you asked should be your focus right now. What is your hurry in finding “the one”? Who says that just because your parents got a divorce you will? You haven’t even found “the one” yet and you are already sabotaging your relationship before it even happens.

    Of course you can love an adopted child as much as a biological child and single women can adopt, but I really think you should focus on yourself and not the life of another right now. I am so sorry your parents’ divorce continues to hurt you and has left you feeling hopeless, but you do not have to be like them.

  • ka14

    YES!!! I adopted a beautiful little 4 year old from russia,I can hands down say that she is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I am a single mom now , and love it . I had a boyfriend for the longest time but i just didn’t want the feeling of a man holding me back! The little one and I live in Manhattan and have a great life together…do it when your older! believe me,its scary how much unconditional love you’ll have for that child! I’m only 32 and I love it !

    p.s. Make sure to have a good bank balance because that’s what they look for at the adoption agency! I make a 250,000+ salary a year and so for me it was a pretty easy acceptance BUT it took me 2 years for Aleksandra to come to the U.S.!

  • k888

    doesn’t matter if the child came from your womb or someone else’s. You can love any child if your the one raising him or her. Sometimes they even let you name the baby and have them from birth. You can even love a step child as much as your own, its all up to you. and as long as you can support the child single women can adopt

  • Molly

    yes, I do love my adopted boys as much as the ones I gave birth to. But they are my own also. And most states do allow single people to adopt.

  • Jennifer

    Well, just because your parents got divorced doesn’t mean you will! Please don’t automatically equate the two. Marriage takes work, I’ll give it that. But single women aren’t as likely to be able to adopt as married couples… The state might, but a lot of private adoption agencies don’t.

    My husband and I are getting ready to start our “adoption journey” after two years of trying to get pregnant. At first, I wondered if I could ever have that connection with an adopted child. Not that I wouldn’t love him/her. But it’s different adopting than it is being pregnant and giving birth and nursing and having all those extra months of connecting. But I guess every family is different. For whatever reason, God hasn’t let my husband and I have children of our own. But I know we’d be great parents and we could give a wonderful, loving home to a child without a family. And honestly, if I can love my *dog* as much as I do, I’m pretty sure I’d love an adopted child a thousand times more.

  • Marnie B

    My adopted child IS my own, even though I didn’t give birth to her. I can’t imagine loving any child more.
    You sound young, you probably have plenty of time to find the right man, get married, & decide how you want t grow your family. I’d recommend learning more about adoption, & that you should only adopt if you’re sure you could love an adopted child as much as a biological one. Adopted kids shouldn’t be a “second choice” & they don’t replace the bio kids you wish you could have.

  • Skadoctor1

    It is harder to adopt as a single individual, but not impossible. It typically just takes the right agency and sometimes a little more money because the agencies that will be willing to work with you arent going to be the christian not-for-profit ones. You can also consider sperm donation and insemenation which will cost about the same, but the child ‘would be biological’. Thats just a thought.

    I am adopted and I am currently a foster mom and I have to say while you dont give birth yourself, the children you have in your home grow in your heart and melt in to you bossom as if they came from your womb faster than you would imagine. Its hard not to look at a newborn baby, which needs you and you bond with, not being your child.

    The age old saying ‘blood doesnt make a mother or a father’ is genuinely accurate. As an adopted child I can tell you I was blessed my birthmom didnt abort me, but my MOM is the woman who raised me and loved me and treated me as her daughter and she tells me all the time that while I was her easiest labor, lol, she never really thinks of my being adopted. I am just her daughter. I think after time you push the adoption part pretty far back in your memory. My mom must have because it wasnt until we’d go to dr’s and the dr’s would ask for family medical history and my mom would start rattling off things that Id have to stop her and say ‘um, mom, Im adopted, we dont know…’ and she’d then remember, ‘oh yeah’. lol.

    If ever you dont feel like you could love an adopted child like you gave birth to them, reconsider adoption. Children know when they are not loved 100% and to adopt successfully, you have to loose the belly birth connection.

  • brownie

    no. no matter what they tell you, it’s not true.

  • sizesmith

    I am the mother of 2 children, one who happens to be adopted.

    Quite frankly, I’m closer with my adopted child than I am my biological son. Age has something to do with it, as I was 21 when I got pregnant with my oldest, who is 22 now. It wasn’t expected, and my husband left the day I found out I was pregnant. I was working full time, and our relationship was stressed, although I love him dearly, my parents helped me with him when he was little, but we just didn’t have the cuddling and bonding that I do with my youngest.

    At 41, I started the adoption process. My youngest son is now 3 (yes, I’m 44). I have some advantages now, like having a home paid off, the ability to be an at-home mom, and I had the advantages of his father being with me the first 2 years before his death. There’s a reason parents come in pairs, and having the right partner to help raise a child will make it easier on both you and the child, providing you communicate with your other half, and work together in a positive way.

    Jerry and I lived together, but we weren’t married. I adopted as a single parent, so yes, it can happen. I can say though, that the love I felt for my adopted son grew much stronger as our legal relationship grew. The first 10 days were loving and bonding, but when the 1st mom’s ability to change her mind was over, the relief was great, and it grew stronger. When our adoption was finalized, I held him in my arms, and literally shook with relief that he was mine officially. I never expected that to happen, but it just did.

    Some people bond with their biological children, some don’t. It’s the same way when a child is adopted. The age of the child when it’s adopted can make things easier, but the actual personality of the child makes a huge difference also. Some kids are more aloof, some happier naturally, and some very timid. Others have a strong need to be held and cuddle like my little guy.

    Also, I love my children differently. Each has their own strengths that I admire. My youngest can get me pretty rattled when he’s on a hyper kick. My oldest can calm me (and him) just by talking. The bond that I have with my oldest has changed a little, with a teeny bit of jealousy in there, but overall, we’ve become closer since the adoption of my youngest.

  • Ems N

    You shouldn’t rule out meeting the one. I’m 21 and I’d rather adopt in the future than have biological children. I don’t plan on getting married (all i’ve ever wanted is to have kids), but I haven’t ruled it out. I have a few years yet, and if I meet Mr. Right, yay for me, and if I don’t, I don’t. I think that’s a little better than completely ruling it out, and i’m well aware that my world view could change as I age.

    You could even meet ‘the one’ after you adopt. Some women who really wanted to be mothers found that they were in better relationships after adopting as a single parent. It took the pressure off having to find a man, have babies etc in a short space of time.

    But remember, adoption is not a band-aid that you can stick over the places where you or your child is hurting. It’s not a ‘quick-fix’ solution to having a family, it’s fraught with major issues for both sides. You CAN love adopted kids as much as bio kids, but they are not the same, because they have a different history which should be honoured and respected.

    I’d say spend a couple of years doing research about how adoption affects adopted kids, then consider whether you’re able to cope with that.

  • cathrl69

    That’s an unanswerable question, because you don’t even love your own biological children exactly the samee. Not more, not less, just differently.

    It’s like asking if an apple is more than an orange.

  • me

    It seems like you only want a child because you want someone to love you, if this is true DON’T have a child, don’t adopt, it’s selfish. Being a mother requires you to put them first every time.

    Get a dog
    or a cat
    or a goldfish

    Women who are meant to be mothers don’t have to question if they’ll love their children

  • Ray Child

    of course. when you bond with someone, then that bond will be strong as ever. I am adopted and i love my parents, and they love me. Single women can adopt, and I think its amazing because there are so many ‘unwanted’ kids. Adopting a kid makes them yours-its a big responsibilty but the reward is amazing

  • Jennifer L

    I love my adopted children as much as my biological child. And yes, single women can adopt.

  • Stephen Cai

    Maybe. it is up to the mother.

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