Dating Attitudes Shape Outcomes

“What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Napoleon Hill

This profound statement has been instrumental in shaping many people’s lives. People have followed their dreams and achieved what others believed to be impossible. You may look at these people and wonder what makes them so special. You haven’t been able to do this in your own life and relationships. What gives?

The truth is that you also believe and achieve. We all do. The sticking point is the type of belief that you have. Your beliefs are the attitudes you hold about yourself and your world. If you believe you will meet the love of your life and create a happy relationship together, most likely you will. Sadly, many people have attitudes that keep them from achieving their dating goals. Here are some examples:

- “If it’s meant to happen, it will just happen.”

This attitude will keep you from finding and keeping the love of your life because it implies that you don’t have to do anything. A variation on this attitude is “Love will happen when you aren’t looking for it.” Nonsense! You can do plenty of things right now as a Successful Single to get ready for a Successful Relationship, such as working on improving yourself, getting involved in activities you enjoy, joining groups of people with similar interests, and taking classes and workshops on dating and relating.

- “All the good ones are taken.”

This is an attitude I have encountered repeatedly when I’m coaching Singles. It’s an attitude of defeat: “why bother looking? There’s no one out there for me.” People honestly believe this is true. That’s how strongly they embrace this attitude. With over 100 million adult singles in the United States, surely there are a handful of “good ones” left, don’t you think?

I challenge you to take a good look at your attitudes around dating and see which ones promote connecting with someone and which ones are holding you back. Decide which ones you want to let go of.

Are you a single person in your 40s who has tried everything to find the right partner? I help you learn the strategies and skills to attract and keep the love of your life even if you believe it’s not possible. For a list of upcoming workshops and tele-classes, go to

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