“Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something….”?

Question by When Will This Recession End: “Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something….”?
This was a line from the movie Steel Magnolias as M’Lynn and her husband Drum waited for the news of their daughter’s inevitable death while she lay in a coma in a hospital bed. When Shelby (the daughter) died, you saw M’Lynn go right into gear telling her husband what to do, telling her son-in-law what to do and then after doing that leaves the hospital to rush to the side of her late daughter’s toddler. With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, she went right into doing what needed to be done and the guys did what? They did what she told them to do. There were things to be done and there really was no time to grieve until the affairs of a death are taken care of, but women SO often have to backburner everything they’re feeling to “do what we gotta do”.

Seeing this movie recently caused me reflect on something that I really didn’t learn until adulthood. In most homes, the strength of the family rests its burden on the woman’s shoulders be they single, wife, or mother. When it comes to death, illness, co-parenting issues or any other critical decision that has to be made, why does alot of this burden get placed on women to get the family through it? WHY IS THIS? Why isn’t this a joint effort?

I have witnessed so many situations that you would think a man would demonstrate all of his “he-man” strength and just dive into doing what needs to be done or at least take the “leadership” role that we always hear about but alot of times men seem to become paralyzed when it comes to taking care of very necessary things and the woman has to take over. And mind you, I don’t mean help, I mean TAKE OVER.

In my childhood and for much of my young adulthood I always thought that the MEN were supposed to be the strength of the family, you know, the fearless leaders, the shot-callers and all of that. We were supposed to be the “help-meet”, RIGHT? Alot of the time women end up being the decison makers, the plan executioner, and the all-around glue of the family. If you don’t watch him close, a man will “escape” a situation that he and his wife/woman are both called to deal with and run to the bar or somewhere he can’t be found until the problem has worked itself out. WHY IS THAT?
I didn’t realize how passive men could be about alot of issues or problems until I faced certain situations in my own life in which I found myself on my own solving problems without the help of men who should have been right there with me.

Is it just me or does anyone else notice this too? Men, please know that women are exhausted and we need your help on things that should be a joint effort. What you may not know is that many times we don’t know what to do either……but SOMETHING has to be done, SOME decisions have to be made and we don’t have the luxury of bailing. It’s no wonder that football players look gleefully into the camera and mouth the words, “Hi Mom” so much more often than you see “Hi Dad”.

So is it just a fallacy that “men are made of steel”? Is it a myth that men are the leaders of their households? Or is it the truth that behind every great man is a strong woman putting up with alot of crap because she did all the work, yet he gets to be purported as “the leader”. I don’t get it.

Before you send your hateful comments, please know in advance that I am generalizing (of course) and that this is absolutely not the case for ALL men…….but for those of you who has ever escaped a problem in the house be it big or small and left your woman to handle it tell me….why do you do that?

Best answer:

Answer by jdrumming
You have definitely been hanging out with the wrong men.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Valentine’s day is approaching, chocolate and flowers sales are at their all time high along with jewelry sales and dinner reservations. According to a study approximately 110 million flowers were sold and delivered surrounding Valentine’s day last year. And those wanting to dine at their favorite restaurants but didn’t make reservations early enough have to fight their way in. I guess that is why so many say it has turned into a commercial holiday. However, many can agree that it’s great to be in love. Well not for everyone, especially if you are single. February 14th is about the love we all share, love for our families and friends but those who are single can be very easily feel left out. There’s Valentine ‘s Day for the ones who have a significant other and single awareness day for those who don’t. Fortunately most of us live in an era were women don’t need to be married by a certain age and depend on their husbands to provide. Many women and men are happy to be single, mainly because of their careers and not having enough hours in a day for themselves. Theres also others that want to be in a relationship and settle down. According to the Census Bureau, married couples represent 48 percent of households in the US but family values which include marriage are still high in the Hispanic community. A study conducted by Pew Research found that Hispanics made up the second largest group of interracial newlyweds, at a rate of 26 percent following Asians who made up the

1 comment to “Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something….”?

  • Victor

    You’re making a sexist generalization. There are female construction workers and male nurses and everything in between. People of either gender can act heroically or empathetically. Genetically, though, the genders tend to have different strengths and thus they develop a reputation for certain stereotypes.

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