What is the purpose of meeting her family?

Question by coacherne: What is the purpose of meeting her family?
I understand that for many women, this is some watershed event. However, I despise my own family, and I’m not auditioning new ones. There is _NO_ law or even logical reason for me to go to this meeting that in no way desire to have. Their curiosity about me couldn’t matter less. Also, I never, ever ask her to do things I know she would hate, so why can’t I have the same courtesy in return? I’d consider meeting them, if there was a single, logical reason to do so that wasn’t based on “societal expectation” or “because it would make her happy”. Making myself miserable to make her happy isn’t something I’m all that interested in. Please, please understand, this is not bravado or intention to be cruel. I truly do not understand why on earth I am _required_ to meet “her”family. Why can’t she go see them as often as she likes, and let me stay happy never meeting them? Even in a marriage, I don’t see any need to meet these people. I’d never deny them their daughter or grandkids, just me.

Best answer:

Answer by cooter726
your insecure, and selfish to boot. Get over yourself. It’s NOT all about YOU. You do it because you love this girl and her family IS important to her. Grow up.

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3 comments to What is the purpose of meeting her family?

  • meteorite

    oh dear, if ‘making her happy’ isn’t a good enough reason for you to meet her peops then honestly? I don’t think you are good enough for her! you might be all messed up from your past and all angry and maintaining your strong opinion, but she’s like from a family which isn’t disfunctional and wants to include you in that. it’s like you’ve judged her family before you’ve even met them as it’s going to be ‘unpleasant’ because you have a negative association with the word ‘family’ from your own past. but if you gave them a CHANCE!!!! you are just meeting PEOPLE for goodness sake, take the family tag off it for a minute and go, would you meet her friends? then if yes, then go meet her ‘family’ and go pretend they are just friends.

    yes their curiosity about you does matter, because they being her peops (never mind if friends or family, just people that will care about her long after nasty boyfriends have come and gone -) are wanting her to be happy and with someone of good character. i just think you sound a bit damaged and angry, and ummm…..you feel forced into it, but you aren’t, you are just sort of super-resistant and it’s bringing up issues for you which are actually nothing to do with her family – who you haven’t even met, they are just people in the world that you have branded with all this story/drama/reasons/hoo ha.

    just please get some counselling about it or just try to sort of separate off this whole angry tale you’re putting on this innocent girl with a normal family that wants to meet the boyfriend! which happens every day and it’s normal and you are the only person blustering on about it.!

  • WiseOne

    So that they know who to track down if she disappears…

  • Bethany I

    Whoa! You have some serious issues!
    You obviously experienced a lot of pain from your own family and am very sorry about that, but stop being selfish. She wants you to meet her family because she obviously thinks very highly of you. It will hurt her feelings if you don’t.
    I suggest you seek counseling or you will push women (and friends) away and end up a very lonely old man.
    I suspect you fear hurt and abandonment. I am only looking out for your best interests here. Don’t avoid things because you might get hurt. That is no way to live. Good luck!

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